Hello Pandora! – Strala Yoga

Have you heard the phrase “to open a Pandora’s Box”? This Greek myth led people to believe once the box was opened there could be unforeseen trouble, misfortune, or perhaps a curse. Would deep curiosity lead you to open the tempting box? What if the box actually contained something beneficial with potentially positive outcomes? Would you become eager to open the box to see if something intriguing was inside? What if the jumbled contents unraveling from the box became a gift bigger than you could have imagined? Would you take the risk to open the box to discover what unfolds?

I have begun to view my writing mind as similar to “opening a Pandoras Box”. The unknown exists within, however, whether it be extremely painful or abundantly pleasant remains to be seen. Once I start, what if I cannot stop? What if the thought of opening it becomes too overwhelming , so I shut it down and remain stuck in uncertainty? I have always enjoyed writing and believe words are important. Words hold deep meaning and give us the opportunity to express what sometimes we cannot verbally speak. Word recollection has the power to evoke cherished joys, as well as painful memories. Words have the ability to release us from the bondage of self into a transformative state of healing.

I remember making up vivid stories during imagination play as a child. My family would comment on what a creative imagination I had. I never took action to do anything with my joy of writing and words. I never felt good enough. I never believed I was worthy of anyone reading my words. The courage to begin writing has helped me discover I allowed deep rooted childhood fear, doubt, and criticism to stop me from doing what brought me joy. It was easier to become a people pleaser than allow myself to be vulnerable and sort through my own feelings and trauma. Only through therapy this year was it explained to me I had suffered from traumatic life events. It was easier to compartmentalize and box up the hard things in life, and completely disregard what could have brought me joy.

Writing has provided me with an outlet to continue healing. The journey to heal began when I became sober from alcohol on 4/22/2021 after hitting an 18 month rock bottom. Looking back I see I medicated myself with food for many years. After gastric bypass surgery in 2010 I could no longer cope with feelings through food. Slowly over the years school became my new mask and got me through divorce in 2020. From the time my parents divorced when I was 8 until I turned 41 I had not allowed myself the freedom to feel. My desires to explore creativity and let inspiration flow had died and I was going through life existing in a world where I felt perpetually stuck.

Embarking on this writing journey with Strala has begun to unravel healing within me. Writing has opened the floodgates of healing unprocessed emotions, prolonged grief, trauma, guilt, and shame. Writing has become the doorway to express creativity and explore who I am as an adult. The words coming from my fingertips are actively throwing salt in now open wounds, but giving me the courage to tend to the wounds and nurse them back to health one day at a time. I now set aside time each day to clean up the mental and emotional wounds and nurture my mind, body, and soul through meditation, yoga, and writing. I keep breathing as I allow the decades of boxed up feelings to flow from my tears and through my fingertips as I write. Yoga has become a new practice in my life allowing me to slow down, get in touch with my body, my breath, my mind, intentionally stretching, easing my body into restoration by releasing pain, so I can be present.

Writing provides the gift of freedom. I am free to write words I never said out loud during life because I did not want to upset anyone or be judged. I lived in fear of being criticized, rejected, less than, or dismissed, so I said nothing. I am now free to express my creativity and practice believing I am good enough. I now have the opportunity to speak my truth and be honest with myself and others without fear, for other people’s opinion of me is not my business. The art of writing extends my growth and development in recovery to transform into the person I have always been, but never dared to become. I no longer have to box up the person I was meant to be. I can allow the healing process to take hold of me.

Tara speaks of softness, something I had never consciously considered. I now find myself approaching my healing journey with a new softness. I am grateful to have opened a Pandora’s Box to unravel all the parts of me that need to be healed and restored. The gift of continued healing was unexpected, yet welcomed.

I am enough. You are enough. I am worthy of being seen and heard. You are worthy of being seen and heard. This journey of discovery matters. We matter.

by Amber Clark

We are so excited to start sharing writing from our community, starting with our Strala writing group. Learn more about the course, How to Write Your Book and Get it Out in the World, here.

Source link: https://stralayoga.com/blog/hello-pandora/ by Tara Stiles at stralayoga.com